A year later after being 300 miles away, every day. It was all worth it. The nights spent grasping his hoodie and holding on to his smell. Just a few of the things that keep you sane through the days. Through the days of missing him, and the many tears. At the end you will see it will all be okay.
What people say it isn’t all true…. Especially to each individual person. I may say that my relationship was worth it… While others may say their long distance relationship was not worth a single second of their time. But in the end, even if the relationship does or does not work out, you learn so much. You grow. You mature. Not just with your partner, but on your own as well.
When my LDR first began, we were only 80 miles apart. We were too young and too immature to figure this whole relationship thing out. On and off again for an entire year. Until.. we came to a breaking point. I could not handle the lack of stability within our relationship.. I wanted more. We decided it was on. That happened once I moved back, and was living only 30 miles from him now. It was a beautiful year, full of laughter, love, friendship, hard work, and trust. We finally saw the light at the end of this dark tunnel. Until, I decided to move 300 miles away, for an education I could only get there. You may be thinking, sure that is only a 7 hour car, bus, or train ride. And even a short 1-2 hour plane ride! But 20 years old, in college, who has that kind of money? I came home very rarely, maybe only 5-6 times throughout the 9 months. Here we are 9 months later…. and we see the light again.
300 miles….. Does that sound better or worse than it actually is?
Of course we had times where we found our love as powerful as any obstacle. Nothing could tear us down. Yet, we also found ourselves in dark holes with no light to get out. Without going on and off again, we pulled through. We grew within our relationship, and on our own.
Insecurities. We all have them. They are the hardest things to fight against. In friendship, in work, in our love life. Yet, so many months later and I still have these same insecurities wracking my brain. I have come to the conclusion, they will never disappear. They do become easier. Easier to let go of. You realize what they are and you do not allow yourself to talk yourself into believing them more and more. I learned to face mine head on, really look at them, and decide… Are they really worth breaking down over? 99% of the time, No.
With these insecurities comes trust within the relationship. I had to find that trust through the distance, once again. After being broken up with so many times, how was i supposed to know that he would really stay this time. Is it me? Can I do anything right? But I found that trust, and I held onto it, to hold onto us. Now the trust is stronger than ever. Friendship and communication grow. You cannot physically touch this person every day and reassure with your touch and presence that every thing is okay. You have to talk, tell them you care, really listen to what they say, give feedback, communicate. Your significant other does not want to talk to a wall, they want you to be next to them, to hold and comfort them. With so many miles between, that is impossible. The words need to express that. I found those words and support in the way he talks to and with me. We found jokes. We found us.
We are stronger than ever. I would do anything for this guy. I would not change a single thing we have been through together, because it made us the couple we are today. I love you. I am so glad to see the light again.